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World's dumbest movie ever The Shape of Water wins Oscar, the world is going nuts!

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And the loser is… DONALD TRUUMP!

So this movie is really super-weird on a straight-forward level. It is about a woman that sleeps with a fish. Like, there are actual sex scenes with this fish. Even at the very beginning of the movie the woman takes a bath and starts masturbating with her finger… can you believe this?

That’s I think pretty offensive. I mean, you go see a movie you think is supposed to be an artsy Sci-Fi movie, and then you end up in a sick bestiality porno – that’s not a good time for most folks. Gotta be pretty weird to think that’s a good time.

The metaphor of course was that the fish creature she was fucking was an immigrant. You would think comparing immigrants to jungle fish people would be offensive to someone, but I guess not if you support them.

Washington Post:

“The Shape of Water,” a Cold War fantasy about a mute woman who falls in love with a humanoid sea creature, won the Oscar for best picture Sunday at the 90th Academy Awards, a ceremony laced with social and political statements, particularly on the issues of diverse representation and sexual assault in the film industry.

“I think that the greatest thing our art does, and our industry does, is erase the lines in the sand,” said the winning film’s creator, Guillermo del Toro, whose victory for best director was the fourth time in the past five years that a Mexican filmmaker took home that prize. “We should continue doing that, when the world tells us to make them deeper.”

The movie takes place in the 1950s. premise is that this woman works at a government facility as a floor-mopper, and at the government facility is this fish man who was found in the jungle and is now being kept in captivity for scientific research. She bonds with it – even though she can’t speak its language – and breaks it out to save it from the evil heterowhite oppressors.

Another character in the film is an old gay guy who tries to pick-up a much younger straight guy. He is literally painted as both a hero and a victim in the film. I have never seen a homosexual protagonist play the role of “older man who preys on young straight men,” just as I have never seen someone fuck a fish.

That predatory faggot gets magic powers from the magic immigrant fish.

Then you have the kindly old black helper character and the evil psycho heterowhite male villain who oppresses that black family and constantly tells Bible verses. Then there’s the “Russian scientist” Dimitri who is the good guy and who actually turns out to be Jewish. Jesus Christ this movie is so offensive on so many levels there’s barely any words to describe it.

Oh, and the Russian spies. You gotta have those Russian spies.

The whole film, while artistically put together on a visual level, comes across as nothing more than a lecture.

I have no idea who wants to get lectured like this in entertainment. Apparently a lot of people, because the film did relatively well at the box office.

That was hype, of course. But still.

Why do people watch this crap?

Also I want to point out that there was no message against Harvey Weinstein in the film – nothing at all about sexual harassment, which was supposed to be the Oscars theme.

It was:

  • Pro-immigrant
  • Pro-gay
  • Pro-bestiality
  • Pro-race mixing
  • Pro-black people
  • Pro-Israel
  • Anti-Russian
  • Anti-white
  • Anti-heterosexual
  • Anti-Christian

But there was no specific women’s rights issue, beyond “woman’s right to screw an animal for excitement.”

So even on the PC messaging level, this fails as an Oscar winner. We were supposed to be talking about metoo.

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