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Max Payne 3 Review

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It’s been a long time! Max is back! I wish he wasn’t…
Considering how Max Payne first started in 2001 and that it was universally recognized to have the best in-game graphics at the moment, Max Payne 3 has average graphics for 2012, its graphics are comparable to those of Far Cry 1 graphics, a game from 2004. Of course, graphics aren’t everything, especially for old-school advanced gamers such as myself, but Max Payne 1 basically became popular through its superb graphics which were definitely ahead their time back in 2001 and in Max Payne 2 in 2003. I remember how shocking were the graphics in Max Payne 1 and 2 and how everyone was impressed back then. Now Max Payne 3 didn’t manage to shock anyone with its average graphics and of course, I’ve played the game with max resolution and max graphic details (including anti-aliasing) but the graphics were still NOT impressive!

The story of Max Payne 3 starts in Brazil, Sao Paolo, with Max now working as low life bodyguard, for some rich bastards who were involved in organ trafficking. Rockstar Games did a brilliant job to make the gamer feel like shit throughout the game-play. You’re playing an alcoholic depressed guy who’s pitting himself non-stop over his past and who works for rich kingpins.

While I generally do like cut-scenes a lot, the amount of cut-scenes in Max Payne 3 was unbelievable! They were really annoying! And most of the times, you lose your weapons when you get in a cut-scene. Yeap, that means you lose your weapons quite often! You suddenly find yourself with a poor pistol after the cut-scenes, regardless of what kick-ass weapon you had. First, I was like OMG! WTF? But after a while I got used to this stupid system.

The amount of enemies in Max Payne 3 was way too high. You virtually kill thousands, and they just keep coming, and Max is still alive and well, and all of that with only a shirt. I mean the guy doesn’t even wear a bullet proof vest and a helmet for God’s sake…
After a while, the game gets kind of boring, after killing more than 2000 enemies all by myself, the game suddenly becomes kind of boring and maybe even annoying.
The huge number of enemies made the game pure garbage and the predominantly Portuguese language which I could not understand made the feeling of the game play even worst. All I understood from what the street thugs were shouting at me was “Filho de puta” which they kept repeating and which probably translates as “son of a bitch”.

Max Payne becomes a low life white trash alcoholic with severe problems of self-confidence but what’s annoying is that even after he kills thousands, he’s still not confident about himself. On several occasions he even calls himself “dumb gringo”, an anti-white racist slang term used by the Brazilians throughout the game play. This self pitying, kind of gives a negative feeling while playing Max Payne 3.

Linear game
I’ve seen many linear games and its not necessarily a bad choice to make a linear game, but the worst possible choice for a linear game is to disable the possibility of going back. Max Payne 3 is exactly that!
Throughout the game you will find some useless junk called “Golden Guns” parts which in some cases are impossible to get because of extremely bad programming. Most of the time when you reach a checkpoint in Max Payne 3 either willingly or accidentally, you’ll get another stupid cut-scene and after that it will be impossible to return, the doors automatically become locked and if you forgot to collect the golden gun parts, there is no turning back to get them.
Unfortunately, to make things worse, Max Payne 3 doesn’t have a normal Quick Save/Quick Load option.
At least if the game was linear, but had a normal manual Quick Save, I could just reload from my previous save, replay, get the golden junk and continue but in Max Payne 3, once you reach a checkpoint, there is no turning back. This is exactly a good reason why I’m against the check-point auto-save system!
Sure, there are low-IQ people out there who are probably incapable of pressing F5 key on their keyboards, to save the game but still having both enabled could only be good. Those who want to use Qucik Save/Quick Load, let them, those who don’t want to or don’t know about it, they will just play by using the auto-save system. It’s all about choice…

Idiotic commentaries disguised as Tips for Noobs
The game is filled with periodic idiotic commentaries, whenever you want to explore a room (most of the time you spend in-door), Max feels the need to give stupid comments disguised as “tips” for low IQ imbeciles who get lost and can’t find their way. Problem is, you really have to be stupid to get lost in a linear game. If you get lost in such a game, what would you do in an open-world game?!? Here’s an example, I was exploring a room, looking for hidden “painkillers” (health) and hidden golden junk, and Max suddenly says something like “the elevator doors are opened I should go to the elevator”. This is exactly a TIP for retards who get lost… Problem is, why would Rockstar Games think that gamers are retarded? Also, whenever I find some painkillers, Max feels the need to say some random BS…

Despite having more than 10 patches/updates, this game is still full of bugs, one of the worst bug is that the game gives constant black screens where you can’t do anything anymore except pressing CTRL+ALT+DEL on your keyboard, opening Task Manager and force closing the game. The good part is that there are soo many checkpoints that it won’t take you back too much like some other games do. I’m not really sure if it was a problem with my computer or with the game… but all I can say is that other games I’ve played haven’t crashed, so the problem could be with the game and not with the computer. I also did some Googleing and I found that a ton of other people had the exact same problem with the black screens in Max Payne 3. There were some suggested fixes, most of the suggestions were to reinstall the game and the graphics card drivers. Haven’t tried any of them because of the time it would have required.
The black screen error was so annoying that I couldn’t wait to finish this garbage game and start another garbage game… haha, just kidding! It wasn’t really that bad! I’ve seen worse!
Besides the black screen bug, there was an extremely annoying head-shot bug, where I shot enemies more than once in their heads and even though they had their heads all red and full of nasty holes, they were still alive and well and shooting back at me! I was like WTF is this??? The worst game ever made or what?? I’ve noticed that this stupid bug happened mostly to enemies with helmets on their heads.
When you shoot them in their face (not in their helmets) they should have died instantly, but they didn’t because their helmets were somehow magically protecting their faces also.

Sorry Max Payne 3 fans, but I’m a critic, and it’s extremely hard to impress me! Max Payne 3 was far from doing that. All this waiting for nothing, just for a big disappointment!

Our overall rating of Max Payne 3: 4 Stars out of 10 Stars

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